What Hurts the Most
by kijani
Summary: Kagome makes a promise to her mother, and then tragedy strikes. Will Kagome be able to keep her promise to her mother despite her grief, or will Inuyasha have to help? OneShot!


**A/N: **And...here is that new story that I was talking about. It's a one-shot(a long one, but still a one-shot). This story is unrelated to any of my other stories, and as I sometimes do, this story will have a song element to it. The song, which you will see in this chapter (because there is only one chapter...), is 'What Hurts the Most' by Rascal Flatts. If you've heard of it, that's great. If you haven't, you will soon understand its greatness. :D I hope you enjoy this one.

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**What Hurts the Most**

Kagome surveyed the scene behind her once more before she turned around. The only things that had survived the fire were the sacred tree and the bone eater's well. Kagome frowned at the irony behind it all as a single fugitive tear slid down her cheek. Her entire family was gone. Even Kagome herself was believed to have died in the shrine fire, which, from what she could gather, was believed to have been accidentally started during the _Obon _festival. But the sacred tree and the well had survived. The well would lead her to the only place she could now call home...back to the feudal era.

Hanging her legs over the edge of the well, she sighed. She would never have to argue with Inuyasha about returning home. She no longer had anything to return home to. She jumped in, allowing herself to be enveloped in the bright purple light.

When she reached the bottom of the well in the feudal era, she did not bother to climb out. Kagome sat on her knees, and began to cry. Her shoulders shook with the force of it all.

_**I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then  
And just let 'em out  
I'm not afraid to cry  
Every once in a while  
Even though goin' on with you gone  
Still upsets me **_

"Oi, wench!" Inuyasha called. He stopped when he caught the scent of two things that made his blood run cold. Tears, and death. "Kagome?" he whispered. "Where are you? Are you all right?"

Inuyasha looked down into the bone eater's well, where Kagome sat, shaking with sobs. She didn't even notice him watching her. "Kagome!" he called down to her. "You aren't hurt, are you?"

Kagome looked up, her face streaked with tears. "Inuyasha?" she whimpered.

Inuyasha jumped down, picking up the young Kagome in his arms and jumping with her out of the well. "What happened?" he asked softly.

Kagome shook her head. "The shrine..." she stammered, "my family...the shrine...!" she gasped.

"Kagome...?"

"No." Kagome snapped.

Inuyasha blinked. "What happened over there, Kagome? Come on...you can't go back to the village like this..."

"Everything's gone, Inuyasha. My house...my whole family died in the damn fire! They think _I_ died...everything but the stupid well and the damn sacred tree!" she screamed, pounding her hands into his chest and sobbing. "I shouldn't have left them. I shouldn't have gone...My mom...I was supposed to..."

"Kagome..." Inuyasha paled at her news, and her reaction. "Don't think like that, Kagome. You would have died too..."

"No one would have cared." Kagome spat. "How ironic. Guess we won't be arguing about whether or not I need to go home, will we?" She smirked before she began to sob even harder than before. "Damn it! I should have been there!"

With that, she stood and stomped away, toward the direction of Kaede's village. Inuyasha sat in the grass near the bone eater's well, completely dumbstruck.

_**There are days every now and again  
I pretend I'm okay**_  
**_But that's now what gets me_**

Sango held her friend as she continued to cry. The old woman Kaede had brewed some tea, and by the time Inuyasha had returned to the village, Kagome was staring blankly into the fire erected outside Kaede's hut, sipping tea without a word.

The gazes of Sango and Miroku shot almost instantly to Inuyasha as he entered the scene. He shook his head, as if confirming what Kagome had obviously already told them, and their heads hung.

"Kagome, I'm so sorry..." Sango whispered.

"Don't." Kagome warned. "Just don't. It makes it worse."

"But..."

"I didn't even get to say what I needed to say to them," Kagome continued, not really directing what she was saying to anyone. "And now I can't..." she whispered. "There's...there's something me and my mom were talking about...something she wanted me to do...and she won't get to see me do it..."

"What do you mean, Kagome?" asked Miroku, although he regretted it almost immediately.

Kagome turned on him. "What the hell's the point, huh? No one cares. He doesn't care. And I can't even let her know...so what's the point...?"

_**What hurts the most  
Was being so close **_

Inuyasha stared at her curiously. _What was she talking about? Who was 'he'? _Inuyasha thought about asking for himself, but wisely decided against it. He stood, walked over, and tried to place an arm around Kagome, but she shrugged it off and walked into Kaede's hut.

_**And havin' so much to say  
And watchin' you walk away **_

"Inuyasha...she's really hurting right now..." Sango whispered.

Inuyasha nodded. "You think I can't see that? I don't...I don't know what I am supposed to do. I can't make that pain go away, Sango. She doesn't want me around her right now..."

Miroku frowned. "But she _needs_ you around her right now. Don't you see, Inuyasha? She needs you. You have to tell her how you feel. She has to know. Right now, she needs to know. She thinks she's lost everything..."

"I don't know...what to say..." Inuyasha stammered. "Or how to say it...she's lost her whole family..."

"But she hasn't lost you...and she still has us. She needs you to be there for her right now..." Sango frowned. "If you don't talk to her..."

_**And never knowin'  
What could've been  
And not seeing that lovin' you  
Is what I was trying to do **_

"Kagome?" Inuyasha whispered weakly. He saw her small frame jump in surprise, and wanted to leave her alone, but he swallowed hard. "Kagome...I have to talk to you..."

"I don't have anything else to talk about right now, Inuyasha. I just want to be alone right now, all right?" she answered back to him.

Inuyasha shook his head. "No, Kagome. I can't leave you alone. I can't do it. I know how painful everything must be...and I can't just leave you alone to bear everything on your own. You still have us. We're here for you."

Kagome turned, if only slightly. "You don't understand, Inuyasha. You couldn't understand..."

"Then you can tell me," he nodded. "I'll listen."

"No." Kagome shook her head.

_**It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you  
Everywhere I go  
But I'm doing it  
It's hard to force that smile  
When I see our old friends and I'm alone **_

"Kagome...you were gone for several days...what happened?" Inuyasha questioned.

Kagome shook her head, but still spoke. "The house...the whole shrine...it was gone when I got there. I...I didn't understand. I thought maybe they were somewhere safe...until I saw the newspaper. And I...my mom...Souta...Gramps..." she choked back a sob. "They...they said it was an accident. I just...I don't understand. Why couldn't they live? My mom was so happy that I finally decided to talk to..." she stopped, glancing at Inuyasha fearfully. "...Never mind..." she whispered.

"No, Kagome...if it's important...I want to hear it. I...I care about you and what you have to say. You can tell me anything...you know that, right?"

_**Still harder getting up, getting dressed  
Livin' with this regret  
But I know  
If I could do it over  
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved  
In my heart  
That I left unspoken**_

"Inuyasha...I told my family something before they died..." Kagome whispered in a voice so low that even Inuyasha had a hard time understanding what she said. "I made a promise to my mother that I won't get to keep now..."

"Tell me, Kagome..." Inuyasha pleaded, his voice soft with concern.

Kagome sighed, her shoulders drooping in defeat. "I can't, Inuyasha. You don't understand. It hurts. It physically and mentally hurts. It doesn't even matter..."

"Everything matters, Kagome. If it comes from you, it's important to me...and if your mom thought that it was something important, then you know it is..." Inuyasha told her, wrapping her tightly in a hug. "Even if your mom isn't _here_, she will always be with you in your heart...and she would be so proud of you for being this strong, Kagome..."

_**What hurts the most, was bein' so close  
And havin' so much to say  
And watchin' you walk away**_

"No, Inuyasha...just...look..." Kagome pulled free of his embrace, and sifted through her over-stuffed yellow bag. She pulled out a slightly burned, leather-bound book, and handed it to Inuyasha. "This was mine. The last page...that was kind of like my mother's page...just...just read it."

With that, Kagome stood and left the hut, running into the forest, and again leaving Inuyasha confused and bewildered. He curiously opened up the small book and glanced at it. Flipping to the last page, he gasped in surprise.

Taped in the center of the last page was a picture that Kagome had taken of herself, Sango, Miroku, Kirara, Shippo, and Inuyasha. Below that was a family picture that was old enough to include Kagome's father, her grandfather, her younger brother, a mere infant at the time, and a smiling Kagome and Ms. Higurashi.

This, however, was not the most surprising element on what Kagome had called 'her mother's page.' Written around the pictures were several random messages...mostly from Kagome's mother, and one from her younger brother. Inuyasha read out loud. "'_Kagome, If you love him, and he is what makes you happy, then I will welcome him into our family with open arms. I love you, sweetie!'_" Inuyasha looked at the next note, one from Kagome's brother Souta. "_'Banzai, Sis! Don't we all look great in those pictures?'_" And a second note from Kagome's mother. "_'Whatever you decide to do, we will accept your decision. Tell him how you feel, Kags. You write about it enough. Tell him. Promise me. I know you can do it, Kagome.'_" Inuyasha noticed that above his part of the first image, Kagome's mother had drawn small hearts and various other doodles.

Inuyasha blinked. "Kagome's mom...wanted her to tell me..."

"...that she loves you..." Sango finished for him.

"Hey! How would you know that?" Inuyasha yelped in surprise.

Sango frowned. "It's not hard to figure out, Inuyasha." she snapped. "But you have to talk to her. She has to know how you feel. She's already lost almost everyone and everything she loves. She needs something to look forward to..."

Inuyasha stood, Kagome's partly charred journal in his hands. "I'll be back in a while. There is something I have to take care of..."

He ran to the bone eater's well, but Kagome was already gone. He searched for her scent, and found that she had jumped back down into the well. He was about to jump in and go after her, but he discovered her sitting at the bottom, shocked and sobbing.

"Kagome?" he choked out.

She glanced up. "The well...it stopped working..." she stammered between tears.

"You were going to go back there? You were going to run away?" Inuyasha asked her.

Kagome shook her head. "Anything is better than this...this feeling. I'm empty, Inuyasha. There isn't anything there. I thought nothing would be worse than when my father died...but I was wrong. Everyone I love dies. You'd better get away, Inuyasha. You might die, too, you know. Everyone I love dies..." she repeated, her voice even softer.

"Kagome...that's not true. It was an _accident_. None of this was your fault. None of it has anything to do with you. You survived. Your mom would _not_ have wanted you to die...and she wouldn't want to see you like this, either." he whispered, jumping down and sitting on his knees next to her at the bottom of the well.

He took her hands in his own. "You are not alone, Kagome. Your mom would have wanted you to be happy..."

"I can't, Inuyasha..."

"Yes, you can, Kagome. You'll see. You'll miss your family...you'll _always_ miss them. That is natural..." He pulled out Kagome's charred journal from inside his robes. "But I am going to make sure that you are happy for as long as you are with us, Kagome, because I..."

"Inuyasha..." Kagome cried, taking the journal from him. "I'm sorry you had to read that. I shouldn't have given it to you...I just...with everything that's happened, I..."

_**And never knowin' what could've been  
And not seein' that lovin' you  
Is what I was trying to do **_

"Kagome, no...let me finish. I love you, too, Kagome." Inuyasha said quickly. He wrapped her in a tight hug as she started to cry. "You didn't break any promise to your mom, Kagome...she already knew."

"What...Inuyasha...I'm...I'm confused..." Kagome stammered as she wiped at her tear-streaked face.

Inuyasha smiled. "It was me who was in denial..."

_**And not seein' that lovin' you  
Is what I was trying to do**_

Kagome smiled as she bowed to the sacred tree. She had placed a small marker there with the names of her perished family members on it. Propped up against the small marker was Kagome's old journal, and a small batch of wildflowers Shippo had picked.

Kagome turned, taking Inuyasha's hand, and smiled at the tree. _I did it, momma...just like I promised. And I'm all right. I'm going to be just fine..._

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**A/N: **Yeah, I know this was kind of random, but it was written in about twenty-five minutes because I got bored and had heard that song one too many times today. Hopefully, though, everyone enjoyed it. Please review and let me know what you think! Thanks!


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